


Same worries, a new reading

by bblamentation



Series: A kiss with you (and you) [2]
Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Angst, F/M, First Kiss, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Major Spoilers, Multi, Polyamory, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-04-30 23:14:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14507586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bblamentation/pseuds/bblamentation
Summary: All Blue’s life, she has fought against the future every psychic gave her and abstained from love. But in just one year, she wandered on and off a path but ultimately led to her love’s death… and now she’s just as lost…Orla suggests a new reading.[can be read with the series and as a stand-alone]





	Same worries, a new reading

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't properly edited this but I've been working on this for 8 months (which I can't even believe) so I needed to get this out there. There's been so many versions and revisions of this part I don't know how I've managed to finish it and at 7K words...? 
> 
> Also since the last time I posted this fic, I changed my username. I hope this isn't too confusing but I felt it most comfortable to do so.

Although days had passed since finding Glendower (days more certain with thanks to school), it was the first night Blue had spent alone in her bedroom since Gansey’s death. The nights before school welcomed the raven boys to crash at Fox Way, specifically Blue’s bedroom. No one could leave Gansey by the sofa downstairs—not even Gansey himself. Staring at the ceiling of her room, Blue felt the absence in her small space. She felt again too slow in her human skin. When Gansey had wrapped his arm round her waist and Adam and Ronan had taken the floor with soft blankets, they had talked in the late night until she or Adam had been the first to sleep. She had not known if either Gansey or Ronan had slept for more than a few hours but it had given both her some peace to see eyes closed and hear soft breathing. The differences in abilities to sleep was something she and Adam had jested about in the mornings. Yet the thought of Blue sleeping in her mother’s cot grew more appealing with the seconds; being annoyed at her mother’s snores was far better than the silence.

Without them, her room seemed larger and quieter (tidier without boys littering her floor). She had spent her time after school with the boys at Monmouth Manufacturing before being bombarded with food and stories when she returned home. The children had been especially loud for some reason, but Blue wasn’t quite sure if the ley line had something to do with their squeals or if Gwenllian had found something new to tease them with. Even so, now, the house had calmed and fell into the night of sleeping psychics. It made Blue think that maybe she was not to sleep that night. She half-hoped Gansey would call but also wished he wouldn’t, so she had some relief he was sleeping.

Staring at the ceiling in a wait for either her body to fall asleep or to hear the home phone ring, Blue heard a rap on her bedroom door. She tilted her head to watch her bedroom door creak open and reveal her cousin dressed in a nightgown family members should not have been a witness to. Blue internally thanked Orla had the decency to wear shorts.

“So how many boyfriends do you actually have, Blue?” Orla asked by way of greeting as she entered her cousin’s room.

Blue did not bother answering the jest, partly because she, herself, only half-knew the answer and partly because she did want to give Orla satisfaction she had teased a reaction. Blue had never told her family of her relationship with Gansey; they knew. They probably knew before either Blue or Gansey could come to terms with what they had and then there was Henry. Henry, who slid into their lives so easily. But he was not the boy who died nor the one she was forbidden to kiss.

Orla shrugged when Blue didn’t answer and entered her cousin’s room, shutting the door behind her. As she stepped into the room she threw the upstairs phone towards Blue, not bothering with her aim to allow Blue to catch it. They both watched it land on the mattress. She spoke as she made herself comfortable at the end of Blue’s bed, stretching her long legs out, “I was in the middle of a call when one of your boyfriends called.”

Blue leaned over to take the phone and pressed it to her ear but she was met only with silence. “Gansey?” She asked, the phone still in hand.

“It was Henry,” Orla replied.

In a slight bit of embarrassment carefully disguised by looking at her cousin, Blue brought the phone to her lap. “What did he say?” The clock read fifteen past midnight. Henry slept later than she did and the only contact they had made via phone were missed calls when Blue had tried to contact him about Gansey. She hoped Henry was not bringing ill news.

“Nothing.” Orla waved her hand. “He just asked if you were there then apologised when I said I was in the middle of a call. It didn’t sound that important but I think he needed to speak with you.”

It was rare for Orla to break off from her psychic duties to answer another call. Usually Orla knew what time slots customers would ring and when to plan around them. On the rare occasions she had not known, Orla never answered. Orla was lying to Blue—but what part it was unclear. She could have guessed Orla was being kind due to everything that had happened but the thought was still a strange feeling. “Thank you,” Blue said staring more at the phone than her cousin.

Orla sighed. It was a great exhale that was more an exaggerated show of resignation than anything else. “I told you once before, but you don’t need to fall in love with every Aglionby boy you meet.”

“If Aglionby had girls then maybe,” Blue corrected but carried on when Orla rolled her eyes, “anyway I don’t.” 

“Guys, girls, or whoever,” Orla waved the casual references off before focusing back to Blue. “Gansey’s your true love.”

Although Orla spoke they were not her words. Those words had been her mother’s long-ago prediction that had brought misery but truth. They were every psychic’s words, not just Orla’s, not just Maura’s. Blue could still feel the cold taste of Gansey, a horror Blue had only thought of but had never wanted to feel. It made her skin prick and she swore the taste would make her sick.

“I know.” Blue wanted the conversation to end if Orla persisted to stay in her room.

“If there’s something I’ve learned as a psychic,” Orla started but waited for Blue to catch her gaze again before she could continue. “It is that not everyone follows the advice that is given to them and sometimes they make for serious consequences but sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they lead to the path in a new way.”

Part of Blue hated listening to Orla’s bluntness (partly because it was like her own) but there was an unusual kindness to Orla’s words. As if Orla was giving her experience as someone who had left school. Sometimes it was easy to forget how close in age the two cousins were. Orla always had psychic abilities. Orla was always on the phone. It had been no doubt that after high school (or rather even during) she was setting up a virtual business. Yet, Blue was sat in her room the past year ended with a death and a disappointment for a long-gone King… Graduation seemed closer than finding Glendower had been.

“You need a new reading,” Orla broke the still.

“But you just said that Gansey—“

“I also said people can lead down their path differently.”

Blue frowned. Orla did not have the psychic air she held for her clients. No, this was Orla crouched in the bathroom groaning as she had to hold both her mother’s and Blue’s hands. 

“Oh, come on Blue,” Orla snapped. “You’re just as lost as all those boys that stumbled into our house after you all killed that demon.  Aunt—your mom already asked what you’re doing for graduation. You need a reading. You need a future to fight against. Because I sure damn well remember a stubborn Blue Sargent owning a beautiful bouquet of flowers that sat right in that corner—“ Blue followed Orla’s finger as she jabbed at the desk by the window and listened as Orla rattled on “—but then not so much a year later she drags a very different exhausted Aglionby boy through the doors of this house holding back tears that she kissed him.”

Blue did not know where to look. Her eyes had caught the empty space where Adam had gifted her the bouquet, to Orla’s deep-set frown irked that Blue was in her thoughts again, to the phone in her lap.

“Get to sleep or call your boyfriend,” Orla said but Blue noted how Orla referred to no name. “Then in the morning you’re having a reading.”

Orla kicked herself off the bed, proud as always for having a leverage against her cousin and then strode out of the room with a smirk and a “goodnight.” Blue was left alone again in her room. Too spacious. She looked at the desk where a vase and flowers had once been, to the wall Adam had so gently punched, to the blankets she sat on—blankets that had allowed Gansey’s warmth to embrace her and now sat the phone both Gansey and Henry called on. Orla was right.

Begrudgingly, Blue shoved herself under the covers. But out of spite Blue did none of the things her cousin suggested.

Blue napped, left the phone on her bedside table after a failed redial, and had her reading after school.

 

* * *

 

After the reading, Blue had been tempted to head to the garage and ask Adam about her reading; he knew more about cards than she ever did, no matter the years she lived with psychics. But she feared she would disturb Adam when he had been shaken but stubborn to return to work. She could not blame him; Blue had work that afternoon.

Instead, she hovered by the house phone unsure of who to dial. Gansey would have been the easiest she liked his voice and the Gansey at the other end of the line was the most familiar. Yet, he had been the reason Orla had encouraged her to have another reading. Blue had sat in the reading room holding her mother’s hand as she turned over the cards and looked at her daughter with knowledge and clarity that was either Maura the psychic or Maura her mother but was all protection. Blue had thanked it had only been the two of them she was not sure how she would have handled Calla, her aunt, or any other of the women in there. Leaving the room Blue had not dared to seek anyone else and hoped no one would pass her; they all knew anyway or would know. _That_ was what frustrated her so.

It would have been best to leave for work early but Blue heard Orla, upstairs, groaning at something her mother was berating her for. It was a common noise in the house but it reminded her of the late-night call. Blue had yet to ask Henry why he had called so late. The night before, when she had clicked redial on the phone she was met with a tease from Orla’s client that made Blue furious. Both with the knowledge of what Orla had to deal with and how she could not contact Henry.

With resignation and unease from her reading, Blue decided to change for work. She would rather be waiting and early than risking one of the Fox Way women finding her. But at the bottom of the stairs Gwenllian was grinning and dancing to a song Blue couldn't hear.

“Good noon, after noon, Blue Lily!” Gwenllian greeted, waving something small and flimsy in the air. “Orla-Orla gave me this but we know it's for you.” Gwenllian handed a scrap of notepaper that was noticeably soggy where the strange woman held it. The paper read a recognisable ten digit number. It wasn’t a number she knew off-by-heart (at least not yet) but it was enough to go back to her earlier resolve and dialled.

Henry answered almost instantly, to which Blue guessed was thanks to Robobee’s quirk and how Henry was rarely a foot away from his phone. Henry’s cheer rang through the phone it almost contradicted what her mother had told her.

“Hey, Henry, it's Blue.”

“Ah, hi,” Henry said, giving a sigh that sounded almost like relief. To Blue hearing Henry was a wave of relief itself of something so familiar. It was a much needed sound when her reading rocked her. “So, I’m guessing Orla passed on the message?”

“Yes, she said you called,” Blue said.

“Orla’s your cousin, right? Can you apologise to her for me for interrupting her call?”

“Yes, Orla, she doesn’t mind.”

“Whew, good.”

“So, did you need me?” Blue asked. Gwenllian, still leaning over the bannister of the stairs slid down near Blue.

“I did…”

Henry’s hesitance unnerved Blue. She wondered if Robobee was receiving all the words Henry was lost with. The silence was strange; it was waiting for Henry but holding Blue at a distance to not interrupt. Blue could almost see her mother turning over the cards one by one explaining them to Blue as they held tight hands. As she listened for the rest of the sentence, Blue barely noticed Gwenllian joining here or rather dancing to hover and croon by the young woman’s ear. They both waited for Henry’s response.

“I kissed Gansey.”

Gwenllian howled a laughter in Blue’s ear—that was sure to have reached Henry—and began singing, “the King can be kissed! Kiss the King!” She was too caught in her own singing to care to listen to more and disappeared into the kitchen. Or possibly the garden, Blue could not quite place the distance of the woman’s voice. The singing should have been a taunt but all Blue could find was the rush of warmth that Gansey could be kissed. That it was Henry.

“How was it?” It was a mundane question for a worldly thing but there was not a more appropriate or more feeling question to ask. What _was_ the correct response when one of your boys had kissed your other boy—your boyfriend?

“It was oddly less mint than I would have thought,” Henry admitted.

Blue chuckled. “Sounds disappointing.”

“Far from it. We spilled secrets.” There was something in Henry’s voice that said he wanted to share but thought otherwise either because they were conversing Gansey-less or over the phone a distance away. “Gansey said you had work later. Are we free to come by yours after you’ve done with work?”

The boys were more than welcome in her home and the women of Fox Way embraced them each time they visited. That was why Blue’s room had been filled with her friends. But having both Gansey and Henry in her home, when the last thing she wanted was the psychics to see them and know her reading—even if there would be different degrees of knowledge and Blue knew they weren’t all-knowing psychics. Blue simply hated living with women who knew the things you did not want them to know.

“I’d rather not have to deal with my family here,” Blue sighed keeping her voice a little low in case anyone heard. “I just had a reading and would rather not head straight back here.”

“Oh, yeah, sure. How about we pick you up after work and—”

Before Henry could suggest where they headed afterwards Blue cut in, “Come ‘round the back.”

“Ah, yeah… sorry about that. But sure, I’ll make sure to drive the backway,” Henry chuckled. “Oh, and I think Gansey just in general needs to see you. No, I know he does.” There was a pause and a muffle on the other end of the phone Blue guessed Gansey was nearby. But she couldn’t quite guess what he was doing.

Last night had been a strange longing and quiet loss. Blue smiled. “I need to see him too. And you, Henry.”

There was barely a pause before Henry spoke and Blue was sure she could hear the smile in Henry’s voice. “I need to see you too.”

The ease of talking to Henry was comfort that she now missed his tallness, bright smile, and ridiculous Aglionby hair. They soon hung up the phone when Blue confirmed when she was off work and how to get to the back entrance as conspicuously as was possible for Henry’s Fisker. Blue couldn’t understand the raven boys’ needs for fast cars.

 

* * *

 

 

The shift at Nino’s had been far from exciting. It had been more of the sameness. Just like school had been. It was as if the world had been none the wiser to the drowning of the leylines and the dryness of Cabeswater. Blue was thankful that whilst her home carried on they had felt the lines enough that the past days had been a dark truth but a truth nonetheless.

But along with the sameness of working at Nino’s, she was let out late. There was no time to change from her uniform, not when Henry’s sleek Fisker was waiting for her. Blue gave no time to see Henry’s wave nor check if Gansey rode shot-gun or not. She ran to pull open the back-seat door and jumped in the car. Half of the rush was not to let her co-workers see but the other half was the need to be within the comfort of her boys—two of so many boys.

Not just boys though, people who grounded her.

“Sorry, the boss has a hunger for eating his employees ears off.” Blue heaved her greeting as she slammed the door shut.

“Wow, thanks for that image,” Henry grimaced as he revved his engine to a purr and they headed away from Nino’s.

Gansey was sat shot-gun turned in his seat to watch Blue fumble with her bag and the seatbelt. The smile he gave was a greeting Blue had not known she had been deprived of until then. His greeting to Blue was a soft but teasing, “hey Jane,” that would have cooled Blue from her long hours at Nino if his eyes weren’t so trained on her face that she warmed under his gaze.

A little composed, eyes still on Gansey, Blue leaned forward holding onto Henry’s seat with her chin almost resting by his shoulder (or as close to his shoulder she could be with her stature). “So, what’re the plans?” Blue asked.

“I have some things to sort out at Monmouth,” Gansey said. “I think Ronan and Adam are at the Barns. At least I assume so Adam texted from Ronan’s phone last night so they could only have been together.”

Blue had doubts Ronan would have dared let Gansey from his sight, not with the way he had driven _that_ night. But if Ronan and Adam had been one another’s company without Gansey, Blue feared Gansey had been alone at Monmouth. And yet Gansey had not called her. Orla had not entered her room to tell her Gansey had called. It had been…

“Gansey was with me last night,” Henry said casually. “That’s kind of why we called you.”

Blue could breathe easy. “Oh, so was that when you two kissed?” Blue teased and cocked a brow, watching Gansey’s cheeks flush a satisfying red.

“N-no, well yes but we kissed first at Aglionby,” Gansey stammered whilst Henry pressed his lips together lamely stopping a smile.

“First!” Blue pretended to be scandalised at the thought that Gansey had stolen not just one kiss but more.

She watched as Gansey continued to stammer what had happened between them but she was more focused on tracing the lines of his lips with her eyes. Was annoyed that her seating didn’t let her see Henry’s full face, his full mouth.

Yet, as Blue heard of the kiss between the two boys sitting so close she could see their comfort. The crease she could see of Henry’s eyes only urged her to see the beauty of his bright smile in the mirror, whilst Gansey wore a smile of ease. They had shared a tender moment where Henry had been able to offer a care in Blue’s absence. Blue thought of the three of them on her couch; she and Henry had been nestled by Gansey’s side doing their best to soften the cold he had from waking.

They were a unit pressed against one another.

She wished the physicality of the car didn’t hinder that space but if she let her be less of her mother and more of Artemus, she could feel them both next to her, by her, with her. There was something pleasing to see them both frown at confusion and relax with comfort when they too felt they were next to her, by her, with her, and each other.

They were a unit pressed against one another.

In watching them, Blue’s heart twisted slightly that she had not been there when Gansey had felt vulnerable, that he had his own worries. As she listened to Gansey repeat his worries, his eyes were downcast and Blue could feel Henry tense as he heard Gansey again. The guilt of missing the fundraiser and the barrel of messages his parents had sent had coursed as selfishness took over his worries. It was that same raw guilt Gansey had shown when he apologised to his friends in the cave, though there was far less relief.

“We can drive up to see them,” Blue suggested. “If we’re together it may be less so daunting. And they love you more that they sound more worried than caring whether they could see you at the fundraiser.” It was a simple answer for a complicated worry. But after everything it was what Gansey needed. She held her hand out for Gansey to take. When he took it, slightly awkward in his seat, he thumbed her skin. His touch as familiar as the softness of her bed.

“Henry said the same.”

Blue smiled.

The only time they broke hands was when they had to exit the car, but they embraced soon as they were faced with the structure of Monmouth.

The parking lot was noticeably bare; Ronan’s car was nestled with him at the Barns whilst the Pig had drowned in the flood of dark pools. It was strange to see Henry’s car parked in the lot parked but the way it screamed wealth and speed besides Gansey’s black Suburban certainly fit for the residency of Monmouth. Inside however Blue was not sure of what Gansey needed to sort out as the residence still made it clear it homed two teenage boys. The clutter was the same as usual: clothes, boxes, and paper lying around. Despite the mess it was still thankfully clean though untouched from the past few days.

“Welcome to Monmouth Manufacturing.”

It took a moment for Blue to realise this was the first time Henry had stepped into the nest of boys and their many thoughts. Henry looked around with a sense of appreciation and a humming she was not sure was his or Robobee’s (but then wasn’t Robobee more of Henry). Blue wondered how she had looked the first time she was given a tour and Adam had led her through the structures that was now so familiar that she no longer itched to live in the old building; she felt welcome.

“We used to make theories on why you barely touched campus residency or sling it up somewhere cooler,” Henry said taking in the surroundings of the old building. The dust had collected from the days the boys had slept at Fox Way and the night they had not.

Gansey shrugged. He headed off to his desk, leading Blue in hand, and began rummaging through the scattered items. The Glendower journal was absent but there were still books, papers, and photos still documenting he search. But somehow where dullness of their shapes had said the search was over it was a time for Ganseyboy to report to the academics of where dead bones could be found. That this was finished. It was neat. If it was a career for Gansey, Blue could see him enthusiastic and focused. But Gansey had no plans for a future, a career. Not when he had looked so relieved when Henry had said he would take him travelling. Blue did not know where she sat with them there. It made her both furious and upset of that future. But she was not a psychic, she could not scry and find herself nor understand a connection to the future. Readings were done for her or using her.

“My mom gave me a reading today,” Blue said.

Gansey looked up to her from the books he was stacking. “How did it go?” Gansey asked. He squeezed his hand in hers.

Her mother had told her she was the page of cups. Full of potential. But Blue had only felt that potential twice. When Gwenllian had taken her into the attic and when Artemus had told her the _tir e e’lintes_ loved the stars.

“I’m not sure,” Blue said. “Orla said I was due a new reading but I’m still not sure what to make of it. I’ve always been lost when it came to my career and I think my mom avoids giving me goal or career readings because she has her own ideas. So today was more about you.” Gansey’s hand stilled in hers and she felt sorry for the sudden worry. It wasn’t his reading but she was Artemus’ child and she only thanked her mother hadn’t given the same phrasing as all the psychics previously had. Blue gave his hand a squeeze and looked over to Henry who was counting the bedrooms and the number of beds—the ratio still two to three. “And Henry.”

Henry looked over as if he heard his name but Blue had been speaking too low for where he was stood by Gansey’s bed. He was too far from them. He gave a quick smile as if joining their conversation and sat down on the bed testing the springs. “Wow, Third, you need a new mattress.” Blue heard a bed spring clang from Henry’s weight.

“Well, it is from when Ronan and I moved in.”

Then Gansey looked to Blue and squeezed her hand. They could talk with Henry.

Gansey pulled himself to rest his back on the frame, pillow cushioning his spine from the wires. Henry followed suit, though he somehow kept his height even when seated. They left a cosy space between them but Blue opted to crawl and sit cross-legged, facing them. She took her time to collect herself thinking of how she held her mother’s hand in the reading room listening to her.

Maura started the reading by letting Blue choose a card from the deck, easing them both when she picked the page of cups. It was a ritual and a fortune in itself. Maura moved Blue’s hand to rest on her arm and reshuffled the deck. Once finished she let her daughter slide her hand back into hers and began the reading—although the reading had begun when they had seated. Blue was unsure which reading her mother had decided on though she thought it did not matter when she held deep concentration.

The first card she pulled from the deck was, again, the page of cups though this time it was reverse. Blue tried her best to word the reading as best as it would fit. She tried to repeat her mother’s words but readings were always part of the strange.

“I know we haven’t talked about what we are. The three of us.” Blue started. She looked between Gansey and Henry. She loved them but also felt like a girl in a romance novel fretting over relationships and labels (which she was doing). They waited for her to continue to.

The next card her mother had pulled was the same suit. The King of Cups. It had been the reason she had needed to call someone after the reading. She needed them but the final card had edged her slightly off. When she spoke again, she opted for her usual bluntness. “There’s no point denying that Gansey is my true love. We know what happened—” Blue could feel Henry’s leg press against hers “—and I don’t want that to be something that obstructs us. We found Glendower that should be the end. It should be but I don’t think it is or at least Glendower had never been an end. At least that’s what my mom implied. There are other things. That we should know that time isn’t so straight-forward. She said that she can see me leaving but didn’t elaborate more. I don’t know if she means physically or what? She just warned me I will always have trouble with boys. Though I guess that means I won’t with girls.” Blue forced a laugh and a jeer at the end, not quite sure if she had explained her reading or herself.

“I would like to continue to call you my girlfriend,” Gansey said. “I mean I did pour my heart to my two best friends about how much I love you.”

Blue tensed. “No, I want that too.” She had not thought of ending any sort of relationship. The past year had shown her just how easy friendships were and how despite her prejudices against Raven boys those were her best relationships. This was. She placed her hand on Gansey’s leg and he met her hand with his. It was the third time they held hands that day but it was not any less than the one before. “I am more worried on how we would stay like this.”

There was a buzzing that would have scared the two teens if not for Henry’s presence. “Your reading didn’t say you had to change,” Henry commented. “If you want labels then how about introducing us as ‘my boyfriend and his Henry?”

“Can I not have two? And can’t Gansey share a boyfriend?” Blue asked. It sounded greedy to ask for more. Her cards had warned her Gansey’s was her destiny but like Orla had said Blue was defiant to a fault.

Henry swallowed.

At a loss, Henry looked to Gansey for aid but he offered no words. He did, though leaned towards Henry and caressed the side of his face.

“I am not unkissable and Blue is not either,” Gansey spoke with such assurance it was difficult to decipher if he was stating a fact or by the mere demand of it, it would be.

Almost to make his fact true, Gansey leaned and pecked a kiss on the corner of Henry’s mouth. It was bold. It was a Gansey who made people watch in awe and Blue could not help the smile that tugged on her own lips. She didn’t think Gansey needed to give Henry permission but she thought Henry had needed it. She remembered sitting and waiting with a quiet Henry until he hummed out his thoughts of Gansey, of them. But then that thought was slightly hypocritical as she too had worried over their labels.

“Okay,” was all Henry breathed.

Blue took that as her opportunity to sidle between her two boys. She was tiny and could only imagine what she looked like between them but she was defiant that she could embrace them. They were warm and she wrapped her arms round their necks pulling the three of them together. She felt their smiling breaths on her neck. They laughed and Blue couldn’t help the need to want to kiss them both. She wanted to smother them in kisses.

Because it was safer and because it was a Fox Way thing, Blue scrunched her face and nuzzled it in their hair making sure to press her cheek to mess their Aglionby hair. That fierce feeling was rushing over her and she wondered if they felt it too. She hoped so when she felt them laugh. It would have been nice to stay but styled hair meant for the roughness of rigid hair strands and the stench of chemical products. When Blue coughed and complained of their Aglionby ways, Henry said it was a universal thing whilst Gansey apologised for using Henry’s products.

They laughed together, their grins in a cosy warmth that they could stay there for the rest of the day, for the rest of their days.

 

* * *

 

Blue woke to the faint buzzing sound of an insect. Of a wasp—

“It’s just me,” Henry’s voice whispered. Robobee.

The buzzing hummed as Blue opened her eyes to find she was still dressed in her work uniform and lay on Gansey’s bed. The only other person who occupied the bed was Henry her sat upright, beside her, with his phone in his hand as Robobee hovered by the window. “Gansey’s with Ronan. I called your house to tell them where you were but I think they guessed.”

“Thanks.” Blue was thankful it had been Henry to call home; it sounded like her perfect excuse to not return to see her knowing mother by the door. Although she felt far better now than earlier to return to Fox Way after her reading, there was still a nervousness to return to psychics…

“You should sleep more,” Henry suggested.

But Blue shook her head. She guessed she had slept too long for what could be considered a nap as the sun had already set for the day. It was disorientating waking to be met with the tall ceiling on Monmouth with Henry by her side; it was not the quiet bedroom she had been left with the night before. It was for Blue the second time that year, where she was alone with a boy in a home that was not hers. Except last time at least Noah did technically (or was it just officially) live at Monmouth. This time both her and Henry were guests—their host away.

“Have you been waiting?” Blue asked though she was not sure if she was referring to her sleeping of Gansey’s absence.

“I’ve been thinking,” Henry said. “There are other ways to kiss a king than simply kissing lips.”

Though Blue had warmed at the earlier embrace she had had with her boyfriends ( _boyfriends)_. She still could not dare the thought she could kiss Gansey _(unkissable)_. It was not that the thought of never kissing someone was the worst thing in the world. Blue had accepted that years ago. It was now presented with two people she loved and fearing—knowing—she could be the cause of death.

Blue shook Gansey’s words from her head. “Don’t,” she said out loud, though whether it was to Henry or Gansey there was no sureness.

“Listen,” Henry urged. He had a hand on Blue’s shoulder, wanting her to at least listen to his thoughts. Blue had not seen a Henry as quiet as he was now. Sure, his voice was at the same volume it had been but she guessed it was a boy Gansey had seen. Had known. Blue had been sleeping whilst Henry had thought over things.

Blue did not say anything but shifted herself to sit up and face Henry. Where he was quiet, Blue did not trust herself to not scold Henry for thinking of things that could not happen.

_(I am not unkissable and Blue is not either)_

“Okay, you and Gansey can touch one another, right? You hold hands and embrace a whole lot.” Blue blushed, thanking her skin couldn’t give her away. Henry took one of Blue’s hands as if to show how they held hands but after a friendly squeeze, he held hers as if he were a prince courting a lady. His hands were larger than Gansey’s but just as gentle as he lightly held her fingers with his. And she thought of the way he held Robobee, careful but not delicate.

“You could kiss him like this.” Henry brought her hand to his lips and though he was still taller than them even whilst knelt on Gansey’s bed, Henry dipped his head in a bow. He brought her hand to his lips and placed a kiss lightly on her knuckle.

“Henry,” Blue tried but processing that Henry had kissed her was slow. Albeit it was only on her hand but he had touched her skin.

“He’s royalty, you can kiss him,” Henry teased a smile. His face and voice was light but Blue swore she could see a nervousness in his black eyes. Henry pecking her hand shouldn’t have charged her as much it did. But she was pleased it had.

“Gansey was right you’re not unkissable.” He pressed his lips against her hand again and looked up to her. She caught his gaze but it was not so much trained on her eyes than it was on her face in general. His face was wanting just as it had been earlier when he looked to Gansey for an answer.

Blue brought her other hand to cup Henry’s face and she laughed to herself at the dark contrast between her skin and his. They were both warm. As she touched his cheek, Henry dropped his other hand but did not let go. He held hers in his and she savoured his touch. She thumbed his cheekbone in a caress that was similar to Gansey’s before that she was glad she had not seen their first kiss. It would have been too intimate. She expected it had been far tender and unknowing than the peck she had seen Gansey give.

Like now.

“Are you going to kiss me?” Henry asked but his breath waited and leaned for a yes.

Heat was warring with a thud of fear of what would happen if she did kiss Henry… But she wanted to be her stubborn self. Blue leaned forward, tightened her hand in Henry’s, held his face with the other, and pressed a warm kiss to his cheek. It was a peck she could have given her mother or any member of her familiar but the charge she felt as her eyes closed, as she pecked Henry was nothing like she would have felt for them. She felt Henry squeeze her fingers and she smiled as if that was him reciprocating the kiss.

When she drew back, sliding her hand down his cheek, down his neck, down his arm, Henry was a shade of pink that Blue was thankful her skin was dark enough that Henry would not see her own. She could hear the buzzing of Robobee and she wanted to hear what thoughts hummed. She did not know the ways in which Henry thought but time would give her experience with him: time she wanted.

Henry smiled giving her the okay that he was okay. That he was still Henry Cheng, the boy who was still trying to face his own fears. And Blue thought she was facing hers as she watched Henry lean forward. His hand reached for her cheek, just as she had done to him, just as Gansey had. But just as Henry grazed her skin, Blue flinched. She pressed a hand against Henry’s chest. It was not quite a push but it was enough to stop.

Henry paused. “I was only going to return the kiss.”

“I know,” Blue apologised. She was facing half of what she feared. It was too risky. She could not let Henry so close. Not when she had felt so strongly from a peck.

“I might be different,” Henry said.

There was no need to say what (who) he would be different from. And Blue hated how she had soured the two kisses between them. They had both warmed with them. She still let Henry hold onto the one hand.

“What if someone kisses you?” Henry asked.

_Why was it always the wording?_

It was almost a breath away from what she wanted. It was a shiver of a past Gansey, asking, pleading. Henry’s face was closer than she had let anyone dare to be. Her throat was stuck in both fear and want. Her mother and every psychic prophesised if she kissed her true love he would die; that had been true. Again, in the reading her mother had turned over the final card and they had not needed to say phrase. Gansey was her true love. She loved him.

She also loved Henry.

Orla did not believe in true love. Blue had not but that was before the demon. What would happen if she kissed Henry? Would he die? What would happen if he didn’t? Did that mean Henry was not her true love? What about the promise the three of them had? She hated psychics. She hated knowing. She—

Henry kissed her.

At first it was skin against skin. Then it was the fear that hitched her throat, her breathing, but Henry moved. They could breathe. She squeezed the fingers she still held and thanked he squeezed back as she sunk into the kiss. Though it was not her first kiss, or something she liked to count, Blue felt clumsy with her lips. She was not sure if she was good or bad and wasn’t sure if Henry was one or the other. But she could feel that same charge again. Heat flushed over her skin. Heat flushed over his. It was a strangeness and a beauty and a relief. It was a fear and a smile and a belonging of what Blue could have. _Can have._

One of them moved back first, breathing. Henry rested his hand on her cheek holding her gently but not delicately. Blue wondered if Henry had tasted the same to Gansey, though naming the taste was strange. She wondered if Gansey had felt the same relief and warmth she did as she found black smiling eyes.

“You are kissable.”

“Sure, but you almost gave me a heart attack,” Blue laughed. The rush of relief that the only consequence they had for kissing was that they were too aware of Monmouth around them.

“Nothing better than trying,” Henry shrugged but she could hear the hum of Robobee. His head whirring and she could not blame him. If not for being seated on Gansey’s bed she was sure she would have swooned. Blue flopped back onto the pillow and Henry joined her. The two of them stared at the high ceiling of Monmouth. She’d been here before, sad but mostly stubborn against what all the psychics had told her. And she had been again but not as longing. For one thing, Orla was right about her stubbornness.

Blue sighed, “you know I have to stop proving points to all this destiny shit by kissing on Gansey’s bed.”

 

* * *

 

When Gansey returned to Monmouth an hour later he found Henry and Blue curled up on his bed. It was endearing to see them nestled by one another. Except the problem he was then faced was how he was going to squeeze beside them without waking them up or falling off the bed. Ronan was no help when he simply said, “welcome to my world.”


End file.
